In New York, seemingly unlike the rest of the more-logical leaning country, there are a couple different theories on baby’s first birthday parties.
One theory is: Why bother? It’s not like little miss what’s-her-name is going to remember any of this anyway, so what’s the point?
This, it must be admitted, is a valid argument.
Another theory is: It’s monumental! It’s epic! It’s baby’s first birthday party! Go all out! Spend some money! Invite everyone you’ve ever met! Rent a private room in a private restaurant! You know what?! It’s baby’s first birthday! Don’t rent out the restaurant’s private room! Rent out the entire restaurant! Spend some money! Spend more money! No expense spared! It will be worth it! Think of the memories! In the end, little miss what’s-her-name will thank you for it!
In planning their baby’s upcoming first birthday party, the Recent Paterfamilias and his wife were hoping to strike a balance somewhere between these two extremes.
Looking through the receipts for little miss what’s-her-name’s birthday that’s happening this upcoming Sunday, I’m not sure we succeeded.
(It should be noted here at the beginning that our guest list of family members living within the tri-state area consists of the enormous amount of seventeen people.)
We ordered the last of the food today. Due to certain guest eating restrictions (which are not important), we were forced to buy food from a couple of different places: from the first place, it was $70; from the other, just under $400. And this does not count for the birthday cupcakes, procured from a third location, which ran just over $130 (apparently, the price of red velvets drive up the cost exponentially). Party favors for the other babies and children present…well, as it turns out, I’ve lost those particular receipts, so let’s move on. Six Mylar balloons were $130 plus a $20 delivery fee, although we chose not to use that distributor and found someone else much more reasonable ($115.35). As has been mentioned previously in these, the Notes of a Recent Paterfamilias, we also bought a collapsible table and folding stools for guests’ comfort on the day (items which can certainly be used in the future, so the purchase of these items should actually be seen as an investment). And there were plates and cups (of course), smaller desert plates and disposable coffee cups (of course), a tablecloth and tablecloth holder-in-place clamps (of course), amongst other refreshments, bags of ice, a collapsible cooler, and a party dress for little miss what’s-her-name ($54.99).
It is beginning to seem that the wife and I might be inching away from doing less than nothing into the realm of renting out a private room in a private restaurant for a birthday party for a baby who won’t even remember any of it.
But I will remember it. And that is what’s important. And that is why the money (ie. the investment) was spent. And that is why it’s worth it to spend the money and go all out and throw our fancy little shindig for little miss what’s-her-name.
So we’ll see how it goes on Sunday.
(And, oh crap! I just remembered: I still haven’t gotten her a birthday present.)