December 17, 2012

Behind the sets: Christmas Coziness

Usually by this time of year I'm so sick of Christmas because I've been working on Holiday sets and ad campaigns since July.  But this year I've only decorated one tree.  It was for a commercial I designed back in September.  I designed this whole cozy living room --
I kind of wish I could curl up right now next to that fireplace on that oh so soft rug. 
Too bad it's all fake and built on a sound stage.   This is how it looked first thing in the morning:

December 10, 2012

Best Birthday Cake EVER!!!

Last night I went to a "My friend is on a Reality TV show Party" (oh and incidentally, I live in Los Angeles, so this is not my first party of that sort).  But this viewing was special because my friend happens to be a cake designer and she was competing on a show called "Sugar Dome" -- a competition show on the Food Network where the best cake wins.  She had promised us all that there would most definitely be cake at this party.  woohoo!

But imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw this glorious cake - ALL FOR ME!!!!
Yup, that's right, she made me my very own Salad cake.  And luckily I hadn't even had my salad today yet! And like the sign says, it's a "Salad Cake" so it totally counts!!!

21 more days of Salad for 2012 --- But this is officially the very best one! 
  You can see more of my friend's cakes or make your own celebration special and order your own at

November 15, 2012

Custom colors - Sweet Owl - Lavender on Grey

A custom request to do a new color scheme for Sweet Owl  -- She is also printed on a slightly larger panel (12"x12")
-- for custom requests please email me at 

October 19, 2012

Custom Skårt - Flying Around the World on Paper

I got asked to make a version of Flying Around the World on paper and in PINK! So fun for a girls room.  This piece is special order and retails for $89.00  It is available in any color.  If you are interested email us:

October 11, 2012

Salad a day 2012 - Update

My project of eating, photographing and instagramming a salad a day is still in full swing.  Today will be day #65.  Oh yes, it's true, there are currently 64 pictures of salads on my instagram feed (@theskartist -- in case you want to follow) For review on this project or to understand what I'm talking about you can click HERE.

The challenge has become not actually eating a salad a day-- that's easy, in fact sometimes I eat TWO salads a day -- it's eating a new and interesting salad as well as making it look pretty enough to get validated by at least 1 "like"

Well, the other day I was beyond validated when the National Post contacted me asking if they could publish one of my salad photos in their newspaper.  Yup that's right, one of MY salads printed in full color in their Gastronomy section.  It was a picture I took when I was out for Lunch at a Toronto restaurant called Chickerie.  You get one side with your chicken and although I really wanted the mac and cheese I got the salad (see there are health benefits to this project) and a beautiful photo, mostly due to the restaurants own wonderful food presentation

So here it is listed alphabetical - click on the picture to see full size.

October 08, 2012

How I Met Your Mother - The Nursery!

Guess what?  ---Lily and Marshall had a baby!
And you know what else? ---They have great taste!  
Why? ---Because they decorated the Nursery for their little boy with Skårt!

Yup that's right.  Season 8 of How I Met Your Mother premiered a couple of weeks ago - The new Nursery set featured prominently and Skårt's Night Owl Series and Flying Around the World were there decorating the walls.

October 01, 2012

Displaying Kid Art

I was over at friend's house and I happened to notice the great "Gallery" she created of her child's art.
The art display has a wonderfully symmetrical feel to it and seemed to effortlessly float in the air.

Upon closer examination I realized she had just taken two clear push pins and strung a piece of heavy duty fishing line connecting the two.  Fun colored chip clips from the dollar store and voila an easy way to display and change your little one's masterpieces. 

September 21, 2012

A week in Paris

And this is where I lived....
My Favorite things about the apartment (aside from it's amazing location in the heart of the most beautiful city in the world) Was its 

These Monkey candle holders were kind of awesome too

But the most incredible thing was spending and sharing the week with the entire family!

September 19, 2012

Size Matters!

More and more these days I get asked: 
"I love your ________ print, but can I get it in a different size?" 

At first I wasn't sure how to answer this question.  

I realize most people do not really understand the process of screen printing.  I would say the majority of prints sold on places like ETSY are computer generated prints.  They are usually high res scans of an original illustration that are saved in a computer and when someone makes an order they can be resized at a push of a button and the computer will spit it out on on high quality archival paper.  

Well, screen printing doesn't work like that.  For me to create an printed image I need to take a piece of silk that is stretched over a frame and expose a negative image of what I want to print.  This process in itself is an art form - I wrote a blog about it a few years ago if you want to see some visuals you can click HERE

Once I have a screen made, the size of the image is pretty much set.  The final printed image is created by me hand pulling the paint through the screen.  This process makes each print unique.  My favorite part of the silk screen process is lifting up the screen and seeing the printed image left on the wood or paper.  It's like magic every time! 
If you would like a bigger size print - changing the image size is a bit of a  process, however changing the size of the background is easy.  This gives the illusion of a bigger piece of artwork even though the actual image stays the same.  For example, below is a picture of Lock-bot the dancing robot.  He is the same size on both prints but the panel on the right is 9"x12"  while the panel on the right is 8"x10".

Sometimes a background illusion isn't enough and someone wants a significant size change.  For this I finally have an answer.  

The answer is YES! I can make custom sizes, for an additional fee.

September 13, 2012

7 days left of summer... Make them count!

So you may or may not have noticed that I've been lax on blog posting this summer.  I'm not apologizing for this, in fact I'm embracing it! It's still summer (at least for 7 more days) and I'm still on summer vacation!

Okay, I will admit, I WAS feeling a little bad/guilty that I had forsaken my blog for days at the beach,  nights out with friends and a little trip abroad (details to come once summer is over and I resume regular blogging) But then, over coffee this morning with a new friend and inspirational  blogger (check his blog out at: Runner12) I realized that summer is the time to try new things, forsake some responsibilities and to just enjoy.

So even thought the kids are back in school, the days are already getting shorter and the stores are stocked up on halloween gear (ugh some even with christmas decor) I'm still in summer mode and until the equinox, I'm going to take full advantage. What are you going to do with your remaining week of summer?!

Summer Fun Original Water Color Print by Water Colors or Else on ETSY

September 12, 2012

Fun Color Combo

I just printed a custom request for an orange and teal Giraffe and Calf.  Love the color combo!
Choose your own colors at

August 24, 2012

What a Difference a Coat of Paint Makes

I found a horse head at a thrift shop a few months back.  I looked at it, picked it up and then put it down.  It was dirty, it was old, and it was a little bit creepy looking.  "Hip or Horrid?" Might have been the exact text message I sent to Sunshine.  I left the head where I found it - bottom shelf under a rack of old pots and a trivial pursuit game from 1994. Sunshine texted back: Hip? (big question mark) and that's when I decided it may not be quite there yet, but I could make it work.  For $25 I was the proud owner of a really ugly horse head.  But for just $5.00 more I got a can of ivory high gloss spray paint and I made the horse into something kinda cool.  A great addition to Sunshine's Midcentury Modern Cowboy Nursery (yes yes yes, I know I have to get those pictures up soon!)

What do you think? Would you have bought it? Would you have done something different?

August 22, 2012

Inspiration: Neverland for a Girls Room

The fairies have taken over for Peter Pan - if you have a girl over the age of 2 I am sure you are familiar with Tinkerbell and her fairy friends.   This inspiration board came about from the idea of leaving the fairies behind (for the most part) and creating a Never Neverland room that captures the spirit of adventure and youth.
Mariposa Bed by Adele-C
PS Svinga = anging chair from Ikea
Michael Young and Katrin Petursdottier Tree Coat Rack for Swedese Mobler
World map from
Quote from Peter pan wood sign by cottage sign shop on ETSY
Solar powered fairy jar available on Amazon
Paper butterflies - DIY or order some from ETSY
Fun vines wallpaper - not sure where this on is from but photo is courtesy of Decorpad
Vintage Peter pan poster
Pook-a-looz plush - were available at the but now your best bet is ebay
Teepee - a DIY is coming soon or you can find a nice one at heirloom wooden toys

August 17, 2012

When Non-Disposable Water Bottles Become Disposable

I may have a liquid vessel collection problem.

I have a water bottle for every occasion.  Flip top, screw top, wide mouth, squirt, BPA free, non BPA free, plastic, aluminum, steel, glass, hand held, insulated, etc etc.  You name it I probably have it.

At last count I had over 32 "NON" disposable water bottles in my home.  15 of which we actually use on a regular basis.  They sit on our counter like this:

The rest take up valuable shelf space in the cupboard or sit unused in bins in the garage.  What to do with them? And why do we have so many?

I have my favorites ---

The Glass bottle collection - My "go-to's"  consist of two different sized silicon sleeved bottles and an old Beer Growler I've cleaned out and repurposed to hold the water I need for a full day of activities out on the beach.

 I have an assortment of tried and true #1Plastic squeeze bottles on hand for those quick paced activities -- I usually put my sports drinks in them for biking or swimming or hiking.

My new discovery this summer is the insulated bottles.  I love these ones from They keep your water cold for HOURS.  Which is great for car rides or beach days.  You can also put hot liquids in them but I haven't tried that yet.

Now the problem is that I keep acquiring new bottles -- they give them out now on sets so that the crew is more environmentally conscious. They give them away in race gift bags when you complete anything from a 5k to a triathalon,  they are covered in logos and given away as promos at events, schools, bars, stores, etc.  

I've started to SAY "NO" to free new bottles (unless they are really cool or something!) But what happens to all these extra water bottles? Where do they end up? Are the non disposal now being disposed of too? And what do I do with the extra 17 I already have? Can you donate them? Who wants used water bottles? 

August 15, 2012

Purple Owls

Everyone is asking for purple these days -- And now you can get all the owls in different shades of purple.
Set of 3 owls by Skartshop on Etsy
What do you think?
Would you pair them with this Mod toddler bedding by designers Katrine Mow and Kristian Jakobsen? (available at Funktion Alley

Or is that an Owl Overload? 

I would probably go with these fun sheets from Nojo Designs:
stripe - polkadots

August 13, 2012

It all starts with a Teepee!

           The indecent public proposal which I proposed publicly last week on this very blog has been:  Accepted! 

It’s been accepted!  I am so excited!  My new partner and I are going to be designing an apartment!  The interior of which she has not even seen!  The owner of which she has not even met!  But I don’t care!  I feel giddy!  Oh, so giddy!  I feel giddy and witty and something like a little girl!  Or a prom queen!  Or a new bride!  Or a —

            Does any of this sound weird to anybody else?

            The apartment holder (the mother with the daughter) who needs all this decorative assistance has also recently given me an inspiration per her darling daughter’s nursery.  Peter Pan.  (This mother [the one with the daughter and the apartment] had been given a framed print from the Disney classic which she holds very dearly and wishes to hang in her daughter’s room, should the ambiance be correct.)  Upon learning of all this Peter Pan nonsense, the creative gears installed with this particular creative sort, after a popping and a sputtering and a grinding due to a lack of lubricant and infrequent use, ultimately produced the following image:

            A big green teepee (or tipi). 

            A big green patchwork tipi.  Like a teepee made by boys.  A tipi made by wild lost boys.  Like a teepee made by Peter Pan’s own lost boys in Neverland. 

            And this was all for a little girl’s room.  So, picture it:  A big green teepee with Xmas lights tangled in the top and running down each of the six eight-foot tipi poles, and then there are pink camouflage throw pillows and a pink faux-fur-covered mattress, all of which are lighted beneath a paper globe within the center of the tipi—and this is just the start of the thing.

            But, naturally, and unfortunately, this all news to my dearly newly beloved in all things of a design and decorative nature. 

            And, this, in and of itself, is something new.  Designing a nursery, and an entire apartment, over the blogosphere.  A virtual design firm, so to speak.  It’s something of a revolutionary concept, really.  A creative collaboration without verbal conversation.  It’s something grandiose, something groundbreaking, something goshdarn magnificent.  Soon enough, everybody will be doing it. 

And, to think, it all started with a green teepee, a little eight-foot Peter Pan tipi, a little Lost Boys hideout, a goddamn place where nobody ever grows up, where nobody ever gets old, and where nobody ever has to die. 

            No, truly, how this is how modern collaborations will, and should, take place.  This is the wave of the future.  This is how business meetings are scheduled to start happening by sometime early next week. 

            Good luck to all of you in the boardroom. 

            Frankly, I am thankful that I'm not there.  

August 09, 2012

Support Children's Hospital!

When I say "Support Children's Hospital", I'm not talking about the wonderful places that take care of sick kids (although you should really support those places too!)

No, I'm talking about the hilarious, absurdist TV show that my husband just happens to work on called: Children's Hospital.

A typical dinner conversation at our house goes something like this:

me: "How was your day"
the husband: "They couldn't fit the donkey in the elevator so they decided to go with the chimp instead"

Yup just a normal day for him!

It premieres tonight at midnight on the Cartoon Network.  And if like, me you can't stay up past 10pm, then you can check out episodes here  (PS - it's not a cartoon)

August 07, 2012

Summer Blahs

It's August already?!

How did that Happen?! 

I don't actually have the summer blahs.  I'm having a GREAT summer!  Lots of beach time mixed with some fun jobs, not to mention that last weekend I competed in my first Triathlon.  It's actually been an AWESOME summer so far.  Maybe too awesome,  since it seems I've been neglecting my BLOG.  For some reason the Bloggy juices just haven't been flowing lately.  Perhaps I'm too busy bike riding and playing volleyball?! Or perhaps I got a little burn out preparing for the the Unique SF show and had to take some time for myself.  Or maybe I just haven't been creatively inspirited lately.

To remedy that, I've started a new personal project.  Remember this post about my New Years Resolutions?  Well, the year is more than half way over and I am still working on them.  Resolution #1 was to eat a salad a day.  I've been doing pretty well at it.  I miss a day here and there but for the most part I make the effort and actually try to have a salad each and everyday.  However, last Friday as I ate my fruit salad in the morning with some friends,  I realized that I was not really accountable to this goal I set for myself.  

This weekend I came up with the idea to document my salads.  Ahhh if only I had thought of this Jan 1st.  But alas back then it was BIP for me (before i-phone).  So today I've started on a new creative journey.  I will attempt to document my salad a day for the world (or at least for my 20 instagram followers).  If you are intrigued by this please show your support by following my escapades on instagram by finding me under @theskartist.  

And if you have any good salad recipes please send them my way... according to my calculations I still  have 147 salads to eat in 2012.

August 06, 2012

The Proposal

            This Recent Paterfamilias has always hated that guy who proposes in public.  That guy who corners his girlfriend at the basketball game, on the jumbotron, on live TV, in front of forty thousand fans who came here to see something else but have now been treated to the thrill of coaxing this woman into lifelong matrimony as that guy, now her guy, forces her to make a decision one way or the other.  In the opinion of this humble R.P., this kind of guy is something of a predator who hopes, by pigeonholing his beloved in the public sphere, will almost certainly get the response he wants.  This Recent Paterfamilias has always hated that guy. 

            But now, unfortunately, this Recent Paterfamilias has now found himself in the unenviable position of having to become that guy. 

            But please, let me explain. 

            This R.P. has a friend.  And this friend has a baby.  And this baby and my baby are best friends.  And this is all great. 

            This friend (the one with the baby) lives in a two-bedroom apartment.  A big two-bedroom apartment.  A big, beautiful two-bedroom apartment.  (And frankly, this R.P. is suffering from some serious apartment envy, but we’ll ignore all that for now.)

            But this friend (the one with the baby and the apartment) needs help.  This friend (with the baby and the apartment) has no furniture in her apartment.  No, really, they don’t have any furniture.  No storage, no rugs, no chairs, no side tables, no end tables, no occasional tables, no accent tables, no baby tables—it is truly a lovely apartment, it’s just that there’s nothing in it.

            Now, not everybody can have an aptitude for interior design, so it’s fortunate when these poor lost souls have friends like the R.P.  (Although I must admit, after she’s read this, my friend [with the baby and the apartment] may no longer be my friend—but we’ll ignore all that for now).

And here’s where I get into the strange unwanted uncomfortable position in which I have found myself:  I am asking, in a public forum (perhaps the most public forum possible), for the advice, assistance, and hopefully cooperative hand of the lovely S.K. (of SKart) to help her loyal friend, the Recent Paterfamilias, design the interior of this apartment. 

Now, I have ideas for the space (it’s true, I really do), and people should see this apartment (they really should), it’s big and it’s nice and the before and after pictures on this very blog would make for a nice feature.  Plus, there’s a nursery for the kid (the one with the mother and the apartment), and as everybody knows, S.K. can really rock out a kid’s room. 

And to top it all off, we’d be on a very limited budget!  Which would surely prove to make it just that much more challenging for all those creative types involved. 

So, in front of the Internet public (which is, frankly, everyone):  Will you, S.K., do me the honor of co-designing this big beautiful apartment?  What do you say, S.K.?  Want to make beautiful music together?

(And remember, everyone is watching.)

July 30, 2012

Playground Politics

            As everybody knows: Sharing ain’t easy. 

And frankly, when it comes down to it, sharing is kind of a pain in the ass. 

And when it comes to playgrounds, where you (and that small human you’ve brought along with you) came armed with toys galore, which consequently, given the nature of small humans, get ignored and forgotten and abandoned, and then acquired by other (unrelated) small humans, and then consequently abandoned and avoided and ignored by those small humans, and then another (anonymous) small human comes along and acquires these toys, and then plays and abandons and ignores them, and on and on it goes, all while you’re trying to instruct your child on the common decency rules of please, thank you, you’re welcome, and what not, when people keep coming up and snaking her toys right out of her reach, all the while, she’s hearing that she’s supposed to say please, thank you, you’re welcome, and what not, when people keep coming up and stealing her shit right out from under her nose, when what she probably really wants to say (but can’t, given her 14 months) is: “Thank you very much but keep your filthy mitts off my plastic bucket you little spoiled brat.”

            But as a parent of an only child, I feel that all this is good practice for her.  It’s a sharing exercise, so to speak.  A way for my kid to learn how other kids who live with other kids have to live when they live with those other kids that they live with. 

            What I’m really trying to say to my kid is:  “This is how the other half lives.”

            So, as my little one is gradually learning, per our established policy, when anybody comes up on the playground and wants to play with our stroller or our bucket or our cup or our sponge, she has to give it up and they are allowed to play with it. 

            But not everybody in the playground has similar a policy. 

            For some, there’s no policy whatsoever.  There is just a sort of eminent domain.  “I see it.  It is available.  Therefore, it is mine.” 

            For others, there is no reasonable quid pro quo.  “Oh, I’ll take that,” they say.  Then they take it, with no equal exchange.

            For some, the quid pro quo may indeed be in the eye of the beholder, such as when the holder of a miniature stroller or a sponge or a bucket is willing to exchange (albeit temporarily) their inferior goods for a plastic cup or a burst water balloon or, frankly, someone’s own father figure.

Because, in the end, if everybody’s happy with an equal, if only temporary, exchange, then who can argue with that? Certainly not me.  And having been traded, individually, and on several occasions, for, amongst other things, a half-empty water bottle, a plastic truck, a half-eaten cheese stick, a six-year-old dachshund, a handful of week-old dirt, two tennis balls, and an abandoned shoe, I must naturally ask the question:  Ain’t parenthood great?  

July 26, 2012

Purple Phase

It seems purple is the HOT color for nurseries right now.  Every order in the last month has been Lavender or Lilac.  Here are a few of my favs.
Baby Elephant in Grey and Baby Giraffe in Lavender with Grey spots 

Monkeying Around in Lavender on White Wood 

Whale Family - lavender 

July 23, 2012

The R.P. Wants You to Know: Eco Toys Are Not Safe

            It’s true.  Hippy dippy kids’ toys can hurt you. 

            No.  Really.  It’s true.  Those hippy dippy kids’ toys are dangerous. 

            But the manufacturers and the fans and the proponents of these so-called hippy dippy all-natural eco-friendly environmentally conscious kids’ toys will surely tell you differently.  They will tell you that their toys are safe.  They will tell you that their toys are superior.  They will tell you that their toys are just that: toys—only more natural, made of more natural products, in more natural facilities, by more natural people, for more natural motives, with more natural intentions. 

            And typically, these more natural toys are made of wood.  And what could be more natural than wood?  Well, dirt or stone or bone are at least as natural as wood, but who wants toys made of dirt or stone or bone?  Nobody.  But who wants wooden toys?  Well, frankly, lately, lots of people do. 

            So, you’d think (correctly) that there’d be a market for this kind of thing. 

            But, it must be pointed out, these hippy dippy all-natural eco-friendly environmentally conscious wooden kids’ toys are just that:  wooden.  And wooden toys tend to hurt more than plastic toys when dropped on your foot or chucked at your head or clubbed against your knee. 

            And, frankly, the geniuses who make these enviro toys seem to be somewhat anti-adult, particularly given that, in their construction, these toys typically consist of blocks, balls, cubes, and, insanely enough, hammers.   

            Yes, I understand that the wooden hammer is intended for banging the wooden balls through the wooden contraption so that the wooden balls might roll down (plinkety plunk!) the metal xylophone, but really what we have here is a wooden weapon with round wooden projectiles, complete with other, heavier, wooden components which can also be flung about, some of which are blessed with rectangular metal xylophone slabs screwed into their wooden bases. 

            Frankly, to this observer, none of this seems even remotely safe for children and/or other humans. 

            Now, naturally, nobody on this end of the blogosphere (whatever that means) is promoting the production of toxic plastic lead-based Chinese-made craptacular kids’ toys for the dearly beloved toddling loved ones of our dearly beloved toddling nation.  But there has to be some kind of middle road. 

            They make plastic kids’ toys out of corn, don’t they?  They make recycled and upcycled and fore-cycled and aft-cycled kids’ toys, don’t they?  They make environmentally harvested kids’ toys of sustainable wood that are not in the shape of hammers or sickles or projectiles or other weapons that children might use against those dearly beloved human people who bought the toys for them in the first place, don’t they?

            And, in all honesty, we poor afflicted (and now assaulted) dearly beloved human people in charge of these little weapon wielding urchins are not exactly in need of another way for them (the aforementioned urchins) to injure us.  Frankly, they (the urchins) are already at a fairly injury advantageous height, which puts us (the aforementioned parents, see: tall humans) at a rather distinct disadvantage when it comes to protecting ourselves. 

And then to give the little urchins wooden projectiles?  Well, frankly, that seems simply unsportsmanlike. 

July 16, 2012

The Right to the Road

            There is a rivalry brewing in America.  And it’s ugly. 

There is a rivalry brewing in America.  And it’s serious. 

There is a rivalry brewing in America.  And it ain’t no joke. 

Forget the Yankees and the BoSox.  Forget the Duke Blue Devils and the UNC Tar Heels.  Forget the Bloods and the Crips.  Forget the Sharks and the Jets.  This is for real. 

There is a rivalry brewing in America.  And it’s between the Central Park Cyclists and the Central Park Joggers. 

No.  Seriously.  There’s an actual rivalry brewing. 

And it has gotten serious.  Recently, on the Central Park East Drive, an alleged disgruntled Central Park Jogger scattered thumbtacks across the roadway.  Tires were flattened, cyclists suffered accidents, New Yorkers across the board were lucky nobody else in the park got clobbered by careening bikers, or that any New York children walked across the roadway and stepped on the tacks, or that some New Yorker walking his or her dog or dogs across the roadway didn’t have their canines get injured, all of which would have naturally necessitated a trip to their respective health care providers—general practitioner, pediatric, veterinary, or otherwise. 

And this was all because some douche bag Central Park Jogger was upset because some Central Park Cyclists act like entitled douche bags while biking in Central Park. 

And, admittedly, having witnessed their behavior on several thousand occasions, Central Park Cyclists do act like entitled douche bags while biking in Central Park.  They will run you down.  In Park Drive intersections, whether they have the right of way or not, they will plow over, and then issue an accompanying self-righteous comment over a speeding (and retreating) shoulder. 

And frankly, what is more bold than directing comments over your shoulder as you speed by and run away? 

And the Central Park Joggers aren’t any better, entitlement-wise—it’s just that all of their corresponding and equal behavior, like that mentioned above, happens as a somewhat slower rate. 

Cyclists and Joggers.  Joggers and Cyclists.  Sharks and Jets.  Jets and Sharks.  It’s like a Modern-Age West Side StorySnap, snap, snap.  Snap, snap, snap.  Snap, snap, snap. 

And frankly, this Recent Paterfamilias is curious to see how this rivalry will ultimately play out.  Presumably, the guys in their tight little shorts are going to leave their pretty little helmets and their expensive little bikes by the side of the road, and the other guys in their tight little shorts are going to leave their pretty little running shoes and their expensive little iPod Nanos by the other side of the road, and then the two of them are going to come face to face and call all of their loved ones and then fight to the death.  Presumably, this is what will happen. 

But the real mystery here is:  Who is more self-entitled?  Who has more of a self-entitled right to this public roadway?  And who is generally more obnoxious and ridiculous and irritating about this whole issue? 

And frankly, who can say? 

Frankly, this Recent Paterfamilias has kind of got to say that everybody’s obnoxious. 

And frankly, this Recent Paterfamilias has kind of got to say that everybody’s ridiculous. 

And frankly, this Recent Paterfamilias has kind of got to say that everybody’s an irritating douche bag. 

But what do I know?  I’m not a cyclist, and I’m not a jogger.  All that I’ve got is an opinion and an online forum on which to voice it and, look at that!, this R.P. doesn’t have to cowardly pitch thumbtacks across public roadways at 5:30 in the morning to get his point across.  He can write about it.  With actual words. 

If only everyone could be so honest and revolutionary. 

July 09, 2012

And the Show was a....

Well, I wouldn't call it a success necessarily.  I mean, I didn't make my millions at Unique San Francisco.  I might have broken even covering the costs of the set up, booth and gas to get to San Francisco.  But my mom came in from Toronto and we drove up with and stayed with one of my good friends, so all and all it was a pretty fun weekend.  Took me a while to get home and recover (hence the lack of blogging last week).  I realized that to me the best part of the shows is the booth set up.  I love taking a 10' by 10' plot of nothingness and turning it into a little store and then seeing how differently everyone else sets up their space.  I guess that's the set designer in me.  Here is how my little space looked from start to set up.

There were a lot of amazing artists and crafts people at the show.  One of my favorites was OodleBaDoodle.  Great display and the cutest owl plashes you have ever seen.  

July 04, 2012

Just another story about Vomit Everywhere

            The Recent Paterfamilias is beginning to wonder if it is in bad taste, if not totally unsportsmanlike, for him to have a grudge with a one year old. 

Admittedly, this is an unenviable predicament in which the R.P. has found himself, and, to top it all off, she’s not even his one year old.  She’s the baby best friend of his own one year old. 

            And what did this baby best friend (if we can still call her that) do to warrant such a grudge with the otherwise forgiving and lenient and overall mild mannered Recent Paterfamilias? 

            This baby best friend, whom we shall refer to henceforth as the Modern Typhoid Mary, has afflicted the Land of the Recent Paterfamilias with a plague of Biblical proportions.

            In an age previous, an era we shall refer to as B.V.A (or Before Vomit was Everywhere), the Recent Paterfamilias had learned verily from the mother of this so-called baby best friend that their respective filial congregation had found themselves suffering through a rather rough weekend.  The whole family, one after another, had come down with a stomach bug.  This baby best friend, after having been kindly invited into the bed of her longsuffering parents, proceeded to reenact a rather memorable scene from The Exorcist

            Oy vey!  What a mess. 

            Then the mother got sick, and then the father got sick, and so on and so forth, but, I was assured, things were all better now. 

            And so, our babies played.  Our babies laughed.  Our babies lunched.  Our babies shared Cheerios. 

            And hen my baby had some projectile vomit of her own.  While sleeping.  She didn’t seem to mind, however, as she kept sleeping right through it. 

            My wife and I were unaware of what had happened until the middle of the night, when we were alerted by the smell, and at that point, that age old adage raised her head and bellowed, “You never wake a sleeping baby.” 

            And so we waited it out. 

            She was all chipper upon awaking, that baby of mine, and, given the circumstances, that’s really a commentary upon her personal constitution. 

            Oh…and It was also coming from both ends now. 

            Consequently, the Clean Up Crew stepped in. 

            A few hours later, clean up was complete. 

            This all began in the wee hours of Friday morning. 

            By Saturday afternoon, this Recent Paterfamilias wasn’t feeling so hot.  By 7pm, he was exorcising all over the place, on a regular basis, and the Clean Up Crew, busy as it was, had been slashed by 50%. 

            By 11pm, the R.P. was in a cab, alone, on his way to the Weill Cornell Emergency Room, where his exorcising continued unabated for several more hours. 

            After three litres of IV fluid were inserted for dehydration, several anti-nausea and anti-diarrheal medications were administered, and seven hours of observation were observed, the medical professionals finally let the Recent Paterfamilias go. 

I could barely walk. 

            It was now Sunday morning. 

            By Sunday afternoon, around 3pm, the wife of the R.P. wasn’t feeling so hot. 

            By 6pm, the Clean Up Crew consisted of a what could only be referred to as “useless” thirteen month old. 

            Eventually, by Tuesday afternoon, days after our baby was feeling tip top, fit as a fiddle, raring to go, pretty and witty and gay, the wife of the R.P. and the R.P. himself were finally finding themselves wishing to rise to the land of the living, complete with an appetite for something marginally (although only marginally) more substantial than dry toast and lukewarm water. 

            And so, as my reader can most clearly see, concerning good taste or sportsmanlike or not, this Recent Paterfamilias has a little bone to pick with that certain baby best friend, that certain Modern Typhoid Mary, and the next time I see her, I will be sure to say, “Hey!  Look here, you baby, I have a bone to pick with you!”  And then she’ll look at me with her Modern Typhoid Mary eyes and she’ll curl up her mouth in her Modern Typhoid Mary way and I’ll think, “Well, that’s pretty cute,” and then I’ll consequently (and conveniently) forget everything that’s happened. 

            Because it’s not her fault, really.  Just because a baby spreads an epidemic, does that mean you can blame her?  It would almost be like having a grudge against that first dog or rat or flea who stepped into Dark-Ages Europe and thought, “Huh, that’s weird but my throat feels a little scratchy.”